Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
