Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
