You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
