marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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