on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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