I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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