coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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