So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
