okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
