Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
