I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
not ubering you a puppy
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
