my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She has the best kind of daddy issues
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
