i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
