Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize