Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
dude. I can hear the air.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
