We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize