We need to rekindle our bromance
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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