so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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