as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
As shirtless as possible
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
