hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
