he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
