I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
