There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
