Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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