Yo dont text me then not text me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
