took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
