I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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