Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am naked and annoyed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
