Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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