i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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