we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
