i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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