Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
my liver is dry heaving
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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