Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
