Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
