It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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