since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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