great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
