hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
