i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
