Tell her she can't have a vagina
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I have fence marks all over my body
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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