Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
