I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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