The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
