i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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