Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
