his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
