someone get that fucking seahorse.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
