Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
