why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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