Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
