i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
