Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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