Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
sex in a hospital.. check
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
