my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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