Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
