i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
