Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am mentally ready for anal.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
