If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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