just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
