absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
