nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
